Seymour Skinner
|status = |alias = Armin Taznarian Big Butt Skinner Sergeant Skinner Principal Skinner Dick Fiddler|hair = Brownish-gray|job = Principal of Springfield Elementary School Co-Owner of Chalmskinn Production Soldier of the Vietnam War (formely)|relatives = Legal Mother: Agnes Skinner Legal Father: Sheldon Skinner Ex-Girlfriends: Edna Krabappel, Patty Bouvier, & Laura Powers|appearance = Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire|voiced by = Harry Shearer}}Walter Seymour Skinner, formerly known as Armin Tamzarian, is the interim principal of Springfield Elementary School, and a stereotypical educational bureaucrat. He struggles to control the crumbling school and is constantly engaged in a battle against its inadequate resources, apathetic and bitter teachers, and often rowdy and unenthusiastic students, Bart Simpson being a standout example. A strict disciplinarian, Skinner has an uptight, militaristic attitude that stems from his years in the United States Army as a Green Beret, which included service in the Vietnam War, where he achieved the rank of a sergeant, according to his rank insignia. As a result of his service in the Vietnam War, he is often plagued by horrible memories of his involvement via post traumatic stress disorder, sometimes even happening at the most inopportune of times. It's also implied that he received a severe enough injury during the Vietnam War on his posterior to require a metal plate to be installed in it. Biography Seymour is ethnically Armenian, the name "Armin Tamzarian" would suggest he is from Eastern Armenian heritage. Out of genuine concern for the quality of education of his students, most of Skinner's actions revolve around ensuring the school has adequate funding. His constant desperate, and usually ineffective attempts at maintaining discipline are an effort to receive good reviews from the frequent inspections of his capricious, temperamental, and whimsical superior, Superintendent Chalmers - who makes no effort to hide his disapproval of Skinner. These inspections usually turn awry due to Bart Simpson's elaborate pranks—which play off Skinner's desperation for order. Over the years of pranks and inspections, though, Skinner has developed a love-hate relationship with each of them; when Skinner was fired and replaced by Ned Flanders, Bart found pranks less meaningful, due to Flanders' lax approach to discipline. In an accident involving both Skinner and Chalmers, Chalmers showed grief over Skinner before he realized he was still alive. Although he likes to maintain the image of a strict disciplinarian, he is often weak-willed and nervous and has a very unhealthy dependence on his mother who constantly makes demands from him. She addresses him by the nickname "Spanky." Also, it was heavily implied that Seymour Skinner suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder from his days in Vietnam, where he spent eighteen months as a prisoner of war. Seeing his entire platoon devoured by an Elephant was one of the many things that led to the development of his post-traumatic stress disorder. Once, his PTSD kicked in in the middle of trying to alert Students of a prank that Bart pulled involving Heart message candies with crude statements on the PA where he remembered his war buddy Johnny being killed while he was writing a Valentine's Day card for his girlfriend back at home, causing Bart to think he "broke his mind". However, one PTSD related episode didn't deal with the war itself, but rather his experiences after the war, where he was apparently spat upon by people who were presumably anti-Vietnam when he was earlier promised with a parade. Skinner's unhealthy relationship with his mother began early: it is revealed that Agnes's pregnancy resulted in her failing to win a medal at the Helsinki Olympics in 1952. He originally was quite laid back as a principal, even going as far as to do a jumpflip to catch a Frisbee while telling a student to keep up with his studies, but it all changed when one of his students (Andy Hamilton) managed to fill the pool with worms and locked Skinner in the pool for the whole weekend (plus a Monday), causing him to become serious and almost merciless in his approach on rules, even going as far as to shut down the pool and demoting Willie, the swim teacher, to groundskeeper. When Bart attempted to stop Krusty from diving into a worm-filled pool out of fear of Krusty becoming like Skinner, he accidentally blurted what happened to Skinner on the air, causing Skinner to angrily mutter sarcastically that his mother told him that Krusty the Clown was supposed to be a good influence, indicating that he was attempting to repress the traumatic memory. Bart also claimed that Skinner likes dog food when preparing something for Principal Skinner, although it is unclear whether he was being serious about this. Besides his job as Principal for Springfield Elementary School, he also worked as a member of MENSA, and was also the acting referee and a major organizer of the annual Civil War reenactment of the Battle of Springfield. At one point, when the Vice President's Assessment Test was coming up, Skinner and Superintendent Chalmers came up with a plan to lure all of the underachievers away from the test day by faking a perfect score on the pretest and then tricking them into going for a Chopper ride to a Pizza Party in Capital City (going as far as to disguise the School Bus as a chopper). However, when the plan reached fruition, Skinner ended up betrayed by Superintendent Chalmers with the latter tricking Skinner into boarding the bus to "get his sunglasses." He then has to get the kids back to the school, and also saved Ralph Wiggum when he somehow managed to board a garbage barge, to which Skinner impresses Bart and the other underachievers by saving Wiggum using the Conservation of Angular Momentum. Luckily for them, the Garbage Barge was also heading to Springfield Elementary School, so Skinner reads the newly motivated underachievers the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn the rest of the way, and after returning, cancels the Vice President's Test, and also reinstitutes dancing in school. Personality Seymour Skinner has shown to be a stern and strict principle of Springfield Elementary; at times though he has been clueless and incompetent and overpowered by truant students, apathetic and underpaid teachers and what has been officially classified as "the worst school in the state". Although presenting himself with the self-assured image of an authoritative disciplinarian, Skinner has shown to be a nervous, fidgety man despite his age and position of power he is always milquetoast around his dominating mother and bad-tempered superintendent. It is heavily implied that Skinner's tightfisted, militaristic view of how Springfield Elementary should be run is because of his time in the military as a drill sergeant where his platoon were unruly and uncontrollable buffoons and his tendency to come down hard on truants is due to his own history as a street thug in Capitol City when he was Armin Tamzarian. Skinner's brand of class discipline is considerably harsh from handing out six hundred days detention to hanging Nelson by the scruff on a coat hook and shaving the hair off of Milhouse when a swear word was shaved into it. In moments of extreme incense, Skinner displays uncharacteristic backbone, even towards Agnes and Chalmers. For example, against his mother's wishes, he proposed to Edna Krabbapel a woman that Agnes speaks hated due to choosing to not allow her to control him any longer. When he was finally tired of Chalmers yelling at him, Skinner stood up to his boss by claiming that he should try teaching Bart Simpson instead. After this outburst of confidence, he proceeds to call the furbishing company for Springfield Elementary to demand that he didn't want a carpet for the halls but his bravado was quenched when he was asked to hold on the phone. However, he wasn't always like this. In fact when Skinner opened Springfield Elementary he was shown to be much more carefree and there was a pool on the school grounds but following a prank where the water was replaced with worms and he was trapped for two weeks turned him into the stern teacher which everyone knew. Whilst usually considered to be a "square" by his students and peers and it has been proven that he is, Skinner has shown to be a more complex and tortured soul due to his own tragic history. A Green Beret in the Vietnam War, Skinner was said to have been disgraced or betrayed by his country when he returned home and it was heavily implied that he suffered from some degree of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder because of his time in Nam'. Amongst famous spectacles of his PTSD would be when he saw his war buddy, Johnny gunned down when he was sending a Valentine's letter and screamed into the school intercom over this memory, making Bart believe that he "broke his mind" and the months he spent in a POW camp where his friend was eaten by an elephant. In these flashes, Skinner becomes dark and melancholy, if not comically but he is quickly able shake this off. Even so, Skinner's square tendencies were also evident in Nam' which implies he has always been, for want of a better term, "unhip" but became more rattled over his time there as a soldier. His guilt over accidentally inhaling marijuana smoke, the fact that stealing a cupcake from his commanding officer was his worst action and how he reminisced of candy bars in captivity then commanding his soldiers to do the same when they began thinking of women instead show these square tendencies in Skinner's personality. More than anything, however, Skinner is prioritized by making sure that Springfield Elementary is well-funded, prioritizing it above the welfare of the schoolchildren within it. This behavior is displayed by the way he always asks for permission slips from the students parents before a field trip, simply to have them as merits so the school can't be sued if anything dangerous or fatal happens to them outside of the school, even when Uter was trampled and left behind on a Civil War, Skinner was only concerned that they had the permission slips from Uter's parents. Skinner is incredulously cheap with the quality of Springfield Elementary, amongst them the teachers who are underpaid and the books that are only banned from other schools. The old school bus is heavily dilapidated and worn-down, once exploding simply because a leaf touched it and Skinner once elaborated that the heavy chemical fumes were cause for the low test scores on some other students. Generally though, Skinner is unconcerned with the future of the children and the poor standards of the school, largely because he doubts the students have any future and he rides all of Springfield's promise on Lisa Simpson. When he did receive a large grant from a board of directors, instead of using it to better fix the school, spends it on a billboard and later on a liquor store. Despite Skinner's love for his job, he has had a few relationships in his own personal time. He became smitten with Patty Bouvier (although the feeling was hardly mutual) as Patty was forced into the relationship initially and seemed to abuse him a lot, although Skinner was happy to take it. He proposed but she was too dedicated to her sister to be in a marriage. Edna Krabbapel was the longest of Skinner's relationships but she was frustrated of his doting on his mother and he did get cold feet on their wedding day which ended their union but he continued to have feelings for her nonetheless. Skinner had a passionate fling with the substitute music teacher, Calliope but this reached a subsequent end after three months. Skinner's Vehicles Skinner drove several vehicles in several episodes. In newer episodes, he owned a Merkur, which has been mentioned in several newer episodes. In older episodes, he owned a Toyota Camry. He also owned a Volvo, which got destroyed by Bart and Millhouse. Real Identity Skinner's back-story was re-visited in the episode The Principal and the Pauper, where it was revealed that Skinner is an impostor. Born Armin Tamzarian, it emerges that he was a troubled orphan until he was forced into the United States Army during the Vietnam War. There, he was befriended by Sgt. Seymour Skinner, whom he came to idolize. When Sgt. Seymour Skinner was reported missing presumed dead, Tamzarian returned to Springfield to tell Skinner's mother, but she deliberately mistook him for Seymour, so he assumed his identity and followed Skinner's dream of becoming a school principal. It is revealed that Skinner (AKA Armin Tamzarian) was born in New Orleans. The real Seymour Skinner had been alive after all, and briefly returned to Springfield to take his rightful place as Springfield Elementary School School Principal, but had proved hopelessly unpopular and the Springfielders ran him out of town on the railroad. Judge Snyder granted Tamzarian Skinner's "name, and his past, present, future, and mother", and decreed that no one will mention his true identity again "under penalty of torture" (however, Lisa calls him by his true name teasingly when he comments on her decision of calling Snowball V "Snowball II", without consequences), thus everything returned to normal. Romantic Relationships Aside from a short-lived relationship with Patty Bouvier, Skinner's love life has focused on Edna Krabappel. The two dated for several years and became engaged, but later cancelled the wedding. Edna has shown she does want to live a life with Skinner, but first wants him to commit to her - namely by not letting his mother, with whom he still lives, control him anymore. Skinner also developed a romantic relationship with the substitute music teacher, Calliope Juniper. However, after Bart had no interest in her daughter, Melody Juniper, she decided to leave and persuaded Skinner to come with her. Skinner left with Calliope and Melody, but came back a few months later with no known explanation. 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